Sunday, June 19, 2011

At my sisters house. 1:39 AM.

Can't sleep. Don't want to sleep. Not planning on sleeping. Planning on going home either tomorrow or the next day. Why, you may ask? I knew since I left my house that now was not the time to go to my sisters' house, but my Mom convinced me to. Why again? Because, I can never sleep lately, have got nearly no sleep at all. And usually when I'm at my sisters' house, I don't get sleep. I really need to catch up on my sleep! I feel like crying. I'm so tired lately and have absolutely no energy. 


The reason why I don't want to sleep? If I go to sleep now, I'll only get a few hours. Last time I was here the kids woke me up at either 6 or 8 in the morning, can't remember which. That would only give me a couple hours of sleep. And with how much sleep I haven't been getting, because of staying up late, nightmares, or the dogs being annoying, even eight hours isn't enough. I hope I can go home tomorrow, it's not that I don't like it here, I just need some sleep. Next time I come here will need to be when I have more energy and have caught up on my sleep.


I'm in a room with three sleeping kids, then there's me. Who's wide awake and probably will be until morning. I'm tired, I just, don't want to sleep... It's not worth it. And I haven't felt like eating much lately either. Am I dying or something? Like I have the crucio curse, the torture curse, until someone finally says "Avada Kedavra!" and kills me? Well, that's what it feels like now. I'm just on the torture curse until I finally drop dead from lack of energy, sleep, and health.


Tomorrow morning I will go somewhere where no one can hear me and ask my Mom to pick me up. If she says no, I'll beg if I have to. This lack of sleep feels like it's killing me. Mom, if you read this, which you probably will, let me come home. I need rest. I never do anything around the house because I don't have enough energy for it. I need like, a weeks worth of eight or more hours of sleep every night and I may be okay. I hate this lack of energy :'(  


I'll attempt to sleep tonight, with my computer on just in case I can't. It probably won't work, I have that feeling inside that I won't sleep tonight. If my Mom picks me up I'll just lay in bed all day. I couldn't possibly do that here because kids are asking to play with me every five minutes!

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